Things I FOUND OUT for MYSELF, SOONER OR LATER

(Part one)

Always split eights
Don’t buy, rent
Don’t rent, borrow
Salt, yes; sugar, no
The last four years of junior college are a waste
Drink the good stuff first
Don’t take naked selfies
Ten percent of $100 is $7.25
A hide-a-bed is a bad purchase
Always order doubles
When someone says, “it’s not the money,” it is the money

Whenever a man says, “Believe me,” don’t believe him
You can’t try on underwear before you buy it
Don’t wrestle with a decision before you have to step into the ring

Caution always, fear never
Don’t take a cell phone to the toilet
Dog is always right
Improv is more fun for those doing it than for those watching it

If less is more then nothing is everything
When you are alone, act as though a crowd is watching you when a crowd is watching you, act as though you are alone
It can always get worse